As humans, we love giving advice. However on the flip side, we hate receiving advice! In business, there will inevitably be a time when you have to give advice. But how do you give advice and ensure it’s wanted and received? In this video, I show you 3 simple steps on how to give advice properly.
How To Give Advice – 3 Simple Steps
STEP 1: Actively Listen
Nobody cares how much you know, until they know how much you care.THEODORE ROOSEVELT
You must resist the urge to try and fix things immediately. People want to be heard and understood. They want to know that you care. The best way to show people you care is to listen. When I say, ‘listen’ I mean really listen. What I’m talking about is something called ‘Active Listening‘.
When you listen to someone, try to listen with the aim of understanding them (rather than waiting for your turn to speak). Leave long pauses and allow them to continue speaking. Nod your head, maintain eye contact and look interested!
STEP 2: Relay Back What You’ve Understood
One of the key components of active listening is to relay back to someone what you’ve understood. Remember that we’re trying to show them that we understand them. I’ll usually use a phrase like this, “I want to make sure I understand. Can I relay back to you what I’ve understood?”
Notice, I’ve bolded the words ‘understand’ and ‘understood’. I’m sprinkling these words in the phrases so they know I’m trying to understand them.
When I do relay back, I don’t use their words. I use my own words. If I paraphrase what they’ve said by using my own words, it makes them feel like I really understand them. Anyone can parrot back to them the words that they’ve just said. If you use your own words then you truly understand them.
STEP 3: ASK If They Want Your ‘2 Cents’
The last step on how to give advice is to ask if they want your 2 cents. Firstly you are asking them. If you just give the advice, then you still run the risk of it not being warranted. By asking, you’re giving them the power of choice. In advice-giving, choice is very powerful. Respect their boundaries and ask first!
Secondly, ask them if they want it, not if you can give it. Remember that we’re trying to give them the power. It’s not about you giving the advice. It’s about them taking the advice. It’s a very subtle tweak in language but very powerful. Give them the choice.
Lastly, call it your ‘2 cents’ as opposed to advice. The word, ‘advice’ can have negative connotations with some people. Remove that altogether and you’ll have a higher chance of being able to give the advice.